A Lazy Parent Ponders Independence Day

Reflecting on Independence Day, I thought about what it means to be independent. Not as a country, but as a person. How self-reliant am I? How much can I do for myself? How well did I learn all the lessons my parents tried to teach?

For example, do I have the right skills to earn a decent living? Do I know how to dress appropriately for work (a skill seemingly lost on some newer to the work force)? For formal occasions? For play?  Can I cook healthy meals while stretching my dollar? Do I know how to properly wash and iron a shirt? Can I do simple home maintenance?

More importantly, do I model this for my kids? And how do I encourage them to become independent in the same way?

But here’s the catch: I want to teach my kids to be independent with little or no effort on my part. That’s right, I’m a lazy parent. My philosophy with my children is “if you can do it for yourself, why should I do it for you?”

It all started when I met a woman who told me that by 6th grade her kids could do their own laundry. I must have been complaining about how much more laundry there was to do when you have kids. At the time, I had a three-year-old and a newborn. But after talking with her, I saw the light, and set her accomplishment as my goal.

Today my kids are 9 and 12, and I’m proud to say that they are pretty capable of doing their own laundry. From pre-sorting to temperature settings to folding. In future posts, I’ll go through the process of how we got here, and offer other -- hopefully useful -- tips on how parents can mold their kids into independent little do-bees while you rest on your laurels.

I’ll also ask for your suggestions. Remember, the key here is getting your kids to do for themselves what you really don’t want to do for them. Life is too short to spend all day doing someone else’s laundry.  Unless, of course, you’re getting paid for it.