At Dunckel, It's Girls Only for One Night

Farmington Hills parent Julie Devine stood in front of a room filled with about 30 8th grade girls at Friday afternoon, talking about something most women don't.

As part of Girls Only Leadership Development (GOLD), more than 90 girls spent Friday afternoon and evening doing team-building exercises, talking about what high school's going to be like, finding out how to be safe online and learning that every woman has body image issues.

Every. Last. One of us.

This year, four moms organized the event – Devine, Marilyn Rollinger, Lillian Wright and Ruth Dunning. Devine tackled the body image topic not just as a mom, but as someone who has struggled with it for most of her life. She took the girls through historical and cultural "ideals" that have affected women's view of themselves since the days of Cleopatra.

Devine also shared a personal story about being bullied in junior high because of her appearance.

"The truth of the matter is, everybody has a body image issue," she said. "And here's another sad fact, it will never go away."

She also showed one of my favorites, the Dove™ "Evolution" video, which documents the transformation of an average-looking woman into a billboard model, through heavy make-up and hair styling, followed by an expert altering of the photo.

"Every single image you see in a magazine has been doctored in some way," Devine said.

But perhaps the best advice she shared is something I've had to learn the hard way, something I'm still learning: "Try to stop thinking of your body with your heart and your emotions. Think with your head. The main thing you have to remember is to stay healthy."

In the gymnasium, assistant principal Kathy Boyd worked with another group on team-building exercises. In one, the girls had to stand on a plastic tarp and get it to flip over, without stepping off it. In another, five girls stood on narrow wooden skis equipped with rope handles, and had to work together to move themselves across the gym floor.

"It's all about team work and communication," Boyd said. The girls learned how to depend on each other, how to give instructions – and take them. Also, Boyd said, "You have to realize your solution may not be the right solution."

After they completed the exercises, Boyd told the girls they weren't just having fun.

"You think about life, and where you're going to be, there are very few jobs where you'll work alone," she said. "These skills are things you're going to need to learn to survive in the world."

Down the hall, former Dunckel assistant principal Catherine Armstrong (now assistant principal at ) and several older students kicked off a dialogue about what to expect in high school. The topics included the choices girls would need to make to get where they wanted to be, what defines a successful high school student, and the emotional side of high school life.

The GOLD high school connection was strong; 10 girls came from both and Harrison to take on a "camp counselor" kind of role, Devine said. The event also drew mothers of some of the girls, and one mother whose son attends Dunckel. Shelly Wisniewski said her son Tyler, an 8th grader, chose not to participate in the Boys Only Leadership Development event held in March.

"I thought it sounded like a great project," she said. "It's been very positive, I've had a good experience working with these women."

As I sat watching and listening to each of the sessions, I wondered if the girls really understood how lucky they are. This event did much more than help them make the transition from middle school to high school.

It showed them how much a group of women can accomplish when they put their minds to it.

How cool is that?